Mr 3000 v G.I Joe Retaliation

Last weekend I caught Mr 3000 on the iPlayer.

Plot Summary

Bernie Mac tries to hit one last home run before he retires whilst attempting to bang Angela Bassett in the process.

So last weekend I got invited over to my mates wedding somewhere in the Essex sticks. Now as narcissistic as this may sound I treated the event much like a leaving do as I am moving at the end of the month, new job, new digs, the whole sha-bang.

The table plan for the dinner was divided into groups of bands, like Kings of Leon, Stereophonics etc. I wanted to be on The Beatles table because they're the best band that's ever lived, but I was stationed on the Snow Patrol table, one of the most over-rated bands on the planet. My buddy Luke once summed up Snow Patrol best when I asked him,
"Do you think Snow patrol is over-rated?"
And he came back with;
"I didn't even know they were rated."

Anyway it didn't matter the dinner was beautiful, chicken with strips of veg. There was free wine and some funny dudes all cracking wise. Apart from the guy that sat next to me. I couldn't tell if he was introvert or just plain fucking rude but every conversation I started just went off a cliff. Nothing but one word answers. But here's the thing, why turn up to a wedding and be a cunt? Why not drop the face that looked like I had just asked if it was alright to put my cock in your ladies drink, have some free champagne, and maybe ask me a question or two. You never know I might turn out to be an interesting guy.

What was funny was that the groom had told all his friends that they couldn't do any drugs until after the dinner. So of course once the speeches were done, all the wives and girlfriends were dropped like hot potatoes and the queue for the gents backed out onto the dance-floor and out the fire exit.

God knows what time it was when I finally started watching Mr 3000, but I only watched 10 minutes before crashing out on the floor. I caught the rest of it the next day. It takes itself way to seriously but Bernie Mac is still great. Not sure who said it but they said it best when he died 'The world just got a little less funnier.'


Tomato Meter - 56% (critics)
Tomato Meter - 39% (audience)
Peter Meter - 50%

Last night I went to Colchester to catch G.I Joe Retaliation.

Plot Summary

The Rock layers on the arm butter and teams up with Streethawk to fight off an English president. 

My buddy Rico got some free tickets to go see Olympus has Fallen so I tagged along. It was a 6pm showing and I got out of work at 5.30pm so it was pedal to the metal all the way. We parked a fair distance away from the cinema so had to put a bit of a sprint on uphill. When we got to the box office, Rico was noticeably out of breath. He presented the guy his freebie tickets asking,
"We're not too late are we?"
Only then did he realize he had got the wrong day and the preview screening was the day before.  So we settled on G.I JOKE. Rico shelled out 25 quid for the tickets so I don't want to slam this movie too much. I'll just say it wasn't the worst film I've seen this year. Only the second worst.

Tomato Meter - 28% (critics)
Tomato Meter - 55% (audience)
Peter Meter - 42%

Verdict

If you want to see a good bernie mac film then catch him in Bad Santa. He has a lot of good lines in that movie such as 'I'm gunna stick you up my ass frizzle fry.'
I saw that film at the cinema when it came out, who can claim the same?
Anyway I know it's not the season but WATCH Bad Santa and NOT Mr 3000 OR G.I Joe.

@thepeterbrooker