Tuesday 23 April 2013

Butterfly on a Wheel v The Getaway

Last friday night I had a few beers and watched Butterfly on a Wheel on the iPlayer.

Plot Summary

Pierce Brosnan puts on an Irish accent and kidnaps the Scottish Spartan's daughter. He then dresses up the Spartans wife in sexy lingerie, slaps her about a bit and drinks whiskey.

So Brosnan puts on a terrible Irish accent for no reason, even though technically he is Irish as pointed out to me by a guy on Twitter. Gerard Butler is Scottish and puts on an American accent, for no reason either. Both accents are shitty and took me right out of the movie, before I had time to crack open my first beer. American accents aren't that hard to do, unless you happen to be Gerard Butler or Jason Statham. Statham movies are horrible partly because his accent is crazy. And why was he doing an Amercian accent in that film Blitz where he played a British cop, that was set in the UK? Why are people fucking around with accents? Sean Connery never bothered, and if it's good enough for that Bond, it should be good enough for you Piercey-baby.

One scene in the movie set off my bullshit siren. Gerard Butler decides to duke it out with Piercey after awhile, landing a hook flush on his chin. A good clean punch from that Spartan would probably break most peoples jaw, but Piercey takes it like Bane fighting Batman and doesn't even flinch. Even Bond went to ground when he got hit.

Tomato Meter - (no review)
Peter Meter - 52%


The other night I went down to Chichester on a business trip, had a few beers and watched The Getaway in my hotel room at 2 in the morning.

Plot Summary

Alec Baldwin dives around in slow motion for 90 minutes whilst Micheal Madsen bangs Jennifer Tilly in various hotel rooms.

First off it should be said that this film tanked at the box office. Basinger and Baldwin were huge stars when this film hit the cinemas and it could be argued that neither of their careers have recovered fully since, at least on the big screen. Baldwin is no longer a leading man, and never really had the right to be. It flopped not because it was just a very mediocre film, but because Ace Ventura came out that same week and blew it out of the water.

This film is pure 90's cinema in a bottle. Every gun scene was shot in slow-mo, and all the bad guys died. That's not a plot spolier because they all died in the original. I did enjoy the Micheal Madsen and Jennifer Tilly scenes. That was a quirky relationship and their chemistry was far more interesting to watch than Basinger and Baldwin. By the way what a woman Basinger was back in the day. I never fancied her in Batman, but just check out her hips and facial features in this movie. It's weird that she carries no actual screen presence, but visually she was the Cleopatra of her day.

Tomato Meter - 33% critics
Tomato Meter - no score (audience)
Peter Meter - 49%

The Verdict

I've been watching the snooker in fits and starts over the last couple of days. Now that Higgins is out you should see a good run from the Rocket this year. Higgins always has his number in the big tournaments it seems but now Ronnie will be the one to beat. So WATCH Ronnie 'The Rocket' O'Sullivan crunch some ass on the baize this week and NOT Butterfly on a Wheel OR The Getaway.

@thepeterbrooker

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