Plot Summary
A girl develops a mutation .......... down there.
That's right, it's a film about a girl that has teeth in her vagina!
It makes you think what would be the mutated equivalent for a dude.
The girl I saw it with, suggested retractable razor blades emanating from the shaft once inside the womens vaginal core. I thought maybe a boxing glove shooting on a spring out of the mans urethra.
Please have a think and add your own suggestions.
Anyway.
Oddly, when the film is at its best, its focusing on the innocence of youth and the sanctity of sex. So often sex is over glamorized. It always looks so easy on the big screen, when in fact it can be quite awkward at times, and not great to look at aesthetically. (Just me?)
Of course with this narrative it eventually cascades into complete chaos and it goes off the rails in a pretty spectacular way. However the tone of the film is wonderfully judged with humour, tension and dismembered members.
Tomato Meter - 79% (critics)
Tomato Meter - 45% (audience)
Peter Meter - 80%
Last night I had the pleasure of driving the same girl to the picture house to catch the late showing of The Iceman.
Plot Summary
Zod plays a ruthless contract killer that will stop at nothing to fund an affluent lifestyle for his wife and children.
If I want to impress a female, I clean my automobile before picking them up. So if you are of the female variety, and you happen to find yourself in my car, and you mindlessly run your hands safely along the upholstery without it sticking to some undefinable gelatinous goop, then the chances are I quite like you.
Of course up until now I have been hiding my Audi 80 from said girl. Stashing it down secret alleys like Marty McFly hiding the DeLoreon, in fear that just the sight of such hideous machinery would have her run to the hills like a track-star.
But ultimately, I came clean, and offered her full disclosure.
I will keep you posted on any further progress, lets hope the 'Loner' doesn't prove to be a deal breaker.
The film itself was very retro. There are some cracking sideburns in this flick, matched with an eclectic selection of old trackie tops, topped with some blinding crumb-catchers. It's not just General Zod flaunting some quality Lip Foliage, check out the womb broom on Ross from Friends. Also not to be sniffed, the Lamb Chops on Captain America.
Geeky Trivia from IMDB
While in prison, Richard Kuklinski claimed to be responsible along with four other men for the kidnap and murder of former Teamsters union boss Jimmy Hoffa on July 30 1975 in a restaurant parking lot in Detroit. The five-man team were allegedly given the contract on Hoffa by Tony Provenzano, a captain in the Genovese crime family. Kuklinski claimed to have been paid $40,000 for the hit. Kuklinski said that he knocked Hoffa unconscious with a blackjack and, while holding Hoffa's chin up, thrust a hunting knife into the back of his head. Hoffa's body was then allegedly placed in the trunk of a car that was then crushed and sold as scrap metal to Japanese car makers. The claims only surfaced after Kuklinski's death in March 2006 in a book by author Philip Carlo and will probably never be substantiated.
Tomato Meter - 68% (critics)
Tomato Meter - 72% (audience)
Peter Meter - 89%
Verdict
This week I've also caught 2/3's of Man of the Year. It's strange how Robin Williams no longer does good movies. I also watched an entire box set of Superman cartoons in a feeble bid to quell my insatiable yearning for the Man of Steel release. I implore you to watch them, they are fantastic. But my recommendation this week is Point Break, available on the iPlayer. It features one of the best lines in movie history. I have included the clip below for your aural pleasure. Don't call me a hero. So WATCH Point Break (before they remake it into something horrible) and NOT Teeth OR The Iceman.
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