LAWLESS v WE BOUGHT A ZOO

WATCH THIS, NOT THAT..

THIS WEEK 

WE BOUGHT A ZOO (Available on dvd at Blockbusters)

v

LAWLESS (Currently playing at the cinema)

We start with WE BOUGHT A ZOO..

So Matt Damon has lost his wife and decides to upsticks with his jumpy up and down daughter and super depressing teenage son.

He meets Scarlett Johansson (remember her from every film you've watched recently?). 

She looks at Damon with goo-goo eyes everytime he hammers a cheque to save the zoo. Which by the way, happens a lot.

The main problem is that Damon has not gotten over his dead wife, whom you don't give two craps about because you were never introduced to her in the first place.

But don't worry you get to see Damon reminisce every five fucking minutes through numerous photo albums on his mac book. 

It is the equivalent of your girlfriend having a great time on the piss the night before with her girl mates, but being a complete hungover dick with you the day after.

Moving on to LAWLESS starring Shai Labeouf

Now the best thing I've seen Shai LaBeouf in up until now is a street fight you tube video where he gets his ass kicked by a shirtless fat guy on a Vancouver sidewalk. 

have a look..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dff_KSFPLBs

I missed the meeting a few years back where it was decided that Shai had to be a shoe-in for every role that needed a leading man in his early twenties. The Transformers, Wall Street 2, Indiana Jones and the forgettable film title.

I also missed the meeting where it was called for Tom Hardy to feature in every film that needs a leading man to look broody but be capable of kicking ass at any given point. 

That said, Tom Hardy has been in the best film of the year so far, and Shai has yet to star in a film of any credulity. 

It's well put together, it looks fine aesthetically, and it keeps you on your toes throughout.

But enough about Jessica Chastain's cleavage. BOOOOOOOM!!!

But seriously, she's not in it enough and you only really care about her and her relationship with Tom Hardy.

Gary Oldman turns up, but don't go taking a piss when he's on, because he's not on for long.

SO

Both films based on true stories, as is MY film that has been released this week in time for the Colchester film festival.

OUR WORLD CUP

and you can watch that here...

http://www.youtube.com/user/peteyfourfingers?feature=mhee

So shamelessly, watch my film OUR WORLD CUP, not LAWLESS, or, WE BOUGHT A ZZZzzzzzzz