Kingsman: The Secret Service v Foxcatcher

KINGSMAN: The Secret Service

Summary

I hope you're sitting down for this one. Colin Firth plays a gentleman. 

So guess who fluked an invitation to the premiere of the Kingsman last Wednesday? That's right, MEEEEEEEEEE. As I skipped down the red carpet in my cheap suit and Dora the Explorer rucksack waving to all the hysterical teenager girls, one youngster brought my self-esteem crushing back to earth as I overheard her ask her friend "Who the fuck is he?"




Ironically I was thinking the same thing. 'Who the fuck am I? What the fuck am I doing here?' It was that kind of evening. I saw Take That singing from the balcony above the entrance to the Odeon. I thought 'What the fuck is Take That doing here?' I got into a jam packed Odeon and found free popcorn in my seat, what a touch. As I disrobed and performed my usual ritual of undoing my belt and fly, I noticed Claudia Schiffer pass me in the aisle and thought 'What the fuck is she doing here?

At premieres you don't have to sit through a load of adverts. Instead you get to see a montage of interviews with the stars outside on the red carpet. Gary Barlow bowled down the carpet, waved, signed pictures etc. One fan had completely lost her shit, much like I did meeting Pat Sharpe that time at Butlins back in 2009. She was trying to get a picture of Gary but her hands were shaking uncontrollably. At that moment Gary seized her phone, took the selfie with his cheek pressed against hers, gave her a quick kiss and then did a runner with her phone. HAHA I'm kidding. It was probably one of the sweetest things I've seen in my life and Gary Barlow is one hell of a stand up guy.

Once the actors had done fucking around on the red carpet outside the director and cast (minus Michael Caine) were introduced onstage. The director Matthew Vaughn made an interesting remark about the head of 20th Century Fox giving complete freedom with the edit he said "he's a good guy, he let me take a lot of risks and didn't even flinch, which perhaps he should have done". Now this peaked my interest especially as the violence in the film is pretty full on. The Colin Firth 'Church Scene Massacre' nearly derails the film completely. For my money the violent vignettes didn't quite marry up tonally with the comedy spy-spoof concept. It was like Quentin Tarantino had just seen The Matrix for the first time and then seconds later got a call to direct a Bond film. It's a bit wordy for a poster review but that is it in a nut-shell.

The violence aside, the film IS funny and I laughed several times. The soundtrack was very impressive and original. (Not the score I may add, that was clearly lifted from Casino Royale. But the songs chosen were unusual and brilliant).

After the film was done and dusted we all inched our way through the foyer, penned in like cattle. Just over my shoulder I saw Andy Serkis and thought 'What the fuck is he doing here?' Anyway I introduced myself and we had a quick chat about the film. I also got the chance to second his opinion that actors that create non-human characters in effect blockbusters are worthy of Oscar recognition. It was a wonderful exchange and I'd like to think one we'll both treasure. However he was most probably thinking 'What the fuck was he doing here?'

Tomato Meter - 100% (critics)

Tomato Meter - 98% (audience)

Peter Meter - 75%

FOXCATCHER

Summary

A wealthy man gets a team of youngsters together and watches them wrestle. Perfectly normal yeah?  Come on, didn't we see this coming?

I didn't know too much about the story going in, only that someone gets shot. It's actually a rather sad tale. You have John du Pont, one of the wealthiest guys in America, and Mark Schultz, an American Olympic Gold medalist wrestler. Its du Pont's ambition to elevate the profile of the sport and win gold for the American team in the Seoul Olympics.
Now what is interesting to note is that Mark Schultz has since come out and slated the movie. He has publicly criticized it saying how the director has fictionalized all the relationships and given it homosexual undertones.

To which I say, dude, its fucking wrestling. Wrestling by its very nature is two sweaty dudes on a mat wearing lycra, legs entwined, pulling faces of anguish. Of course its going to have an undercurrent of homosexuality. I personally think its a ploy by Schultz to get people to by his autobiography, upon which the film is based. I for one haven't read it and apparently, as often the case, there is artistic license being used by the director.


But the story is compelling, Steve Carrell had me on edge throughout the entire movie, and Ruffalo's nuanced performance is exceptional. What interests me about Ruffalo is that he never seems to do much, but often turns out to be the best thing about any movie in which he appears.
Its pace is deliberately ponderous, but I don't think that's a negative. Maybe it could have shaved off 15 minutes but I don't begrudge any movie building tension so long as it suits the narrative, which it does.

Tomato Meter - 87% (critics)

Tomato Meter - 74% (audience)

Peter Meter - 79%

VERDICT

Well what a week. I can tell you there are actually some knowing nods in the Kingsman to Trading Places. Now Trading Places is a hilarious film and I'm sure we all remember Jamie Lee Curtis getting her norks out in the mirror. No? Well here they are. Incidentally the reaction that Dan Aykroyd has in this clip is the same I gave when Claudia Schiffer passed me the other night. So WATCH Jamie Lee Curtis get her norks out and NOT Kingsman: The Secret Service OR Foxcatcher.

Birdman V Bad Boy Bubby

BIRDMAN

Summary

Michael Keaton plays Riggan, a washed up actor whose career is fighting the dying of the light. His success is attributed to a block buster franchise where he played the star 'Birdman'. Although at the time he was a controversial choice for the role as many said he had no chin.

They calling this the 'comeback of the century' in regards to Keaton's performance. How quickly they forget Spandex Ballet reunion tour in 2009. I'm always mystified by the word comeback. Unless you're attributing it to Dennis Taylor making a comeback in the 1985 Snooker final against Steve Davis, overcoming what seemed an insurmountable deficit, before winning it on a re-spotted black. Taylor went 8-0 down and the only time he went ahead in the match was on the final black, in the final frame. It pulled in over 18 million viewers, still a record for BBC 2 and a record for any channel after midnight.
So what actually are you referring to? Michael Keaton has always been a great actor, he never went anywhere. Every time Woody Allen gets more than 3 stars for a film they call it a comeback, however he writes and directs a new film every year. Some just happen to be distinctly average, but he's still producing, he's not gone anywhere.

Now it's no secret that the entire film has been filmed in a way that makes it look like it has been shot in one take. Clearly an idea lifted from The Spice Girls video for their break through number one hit, 'Wannabe.'  I have never quite figured out the message of the video. I can handle the lyrics fine, a song about girls insisting that their partners don't marginalize their friends, and that 'V don't come easy, she's a real ladeee'. But what the fuck is the video actually about? All they do is act really obnoxious in a swanky hotel whilst people are trying to have a nice quiet drink. Twats.


Okay back Birdman. Put simply, it's brilliant, and I've actually never seen anything like it. I'd say that the continuous take can be a little distracting, not because its flawed, but because its so well executed. I spent a good part of the movie trying to figure out where the cuts were and I can't imagine that was the Directors intention. The film rattles along relentlessly. The soundtrack is pure percussion, and is often as frantic as the dialogue. The director films the dialogue like the actors are trading gunfire. It actually reminded me of Michael Mann's bank robbery in Heat when the camera gets right behind the shoulder of Val Kilmer as he empties a clip on a roadblock, stops, reloads, and fires again. In Birdman the DP Emmanuel Lubezki gets right up into the actors grills and it all feels very visceral.

There are a couple of flaws I found with the film (the last five seconds were actually deeply problematic for me) but I better bring this home soon as I'm going on a bit. There are scenes where the film is clearly having digs at the mentality of people that only go to the picture house to watch blockbusters or comic book films, the strange slow-mo dance dance with a member of the cast dressed in a Spiderman costume, and the cut to scenes of Robert Downey Jr talking about the Avengers for example. It came across patronizing and a little condescending as most of the cast have cut their teeth on the very genre they seem to be mocking. Norton - Hulk, Stone - Spiderman and Keaton, Batman obviously. That aside, it handles all arguments of actors versus critics, ageism and even erectile dysfunction, really well.

Pointless Trivia

Before shooting began, the Director Alejandro González Iñárritu sent his cast a photo of Philippe Petit walking on the tightrope between the Twin Towers. He told them, "Guys, this is the movie we are doing. If we fall, we fail."

Tomato Meter -92% (critics)

Tomato Meter - 86% (audience)

Peter Meter - 88%

BAD BOY BUBBY

Summary

A man with limited intelligence becomes something of a drifter after escaping a room from which he has been imprisoned all his life. His loveable naivety leaves indelible impressions on the people he interacts with. Especially the women he stops in the street and gropes without warning or consent.

So imagine if Forrest Gump was locked in a  house and forced to shag his mum before being released into the wild. Do you think he would be talking about chocolates or playing ping pong? Or would he just be looking to shag women that looked like Sally Field? It makes you think doesn't it?

When Andy the Sandwich Man leant me Bad Boy Bubby, it was handed to me in the most auspicious of manners. Almost like I was being handed a snuff film with a wink and a nod beneath my tuna wrap to conceal the act. I watched the first 30 minutes wrapping presents before Xmas. I have to say I turned it off because well quite frankly, watching Nick Cave's stunt double getting ridden by his overweight elderly mum was putting me off my eggnog. So I shelved, with half a mind never to return.

However, I gave it a second crack. Now the film is undoubtedly a tough watch for the first 30 minutes, though the remaining two thirds grows on you, as Howard Stern would put it 'Like a fungus'.  The anti-hero Bubby, is a product of his environment, and can only speak dialogue that he himself has heard. So what you have is a simpleton who is merely a reflection on society. He portrays all of humanities imperfections, its ugliness, its innocence and its immaturity. The film is at its best when it explores these ideas, when Bubby joins a post-modern, art-pseudu punk-band and yells endless expletives down the microphone. For me where the film falls apart is that it doesn't seem to know what great idea to settle on. It meanders through many different scenarios as if the director wanted to explore every idea, not really knowing what his best one was.

I think the comparison to Forrest Gump is perhaps tenuous, but relative. Both the lead roles are limited in the way they can commuicate to people, and both are thrown into the most unlikliest of scenarios. However Gump has more discipline when it comes to its narrative. It's always grounded, either with his relationship to his mother, or to his love interest Jenny. Bad Boy Bubby doesn't have any of these touch stones to cling to, and people may argue that is part of the films charm, for me it suffered because of it. A strange watch, I'd be reticent to recommend a film like this to many people, but to the right people, this could be independent movie makings' finest hour.

Pointless trivia
Rolf de Heer wrote the screenplay on and off for 10 years before finally shooting it.

Tomato Meter - 83% (critics)

Tomato Meter - 88% (audience)

Peter Meter - 80%

VERDICT

Wow that was a long one wasn't it, still with me? I have watched a whole bunch of films this week that I will be reviewing when I get time. I'm even attending a premiere of The Kingsman next week in London, see! That's what you get for writing absolute bollocks for years for free. However this Saturday I'm off to Lakeside to see the Darts. Which reminds me of my favourite Essex girl joke. What is an Essex girl's favourite wine? 'I WANNA GO TO LAKESIDE'. That gag doesn't work in print, say it aloud and you'll get it. Anyway treat yourself to the clip I have provided of the very first 9 dart checkout done by John Lowe. So WATCH the DARTS and NOT Birdman OR Bad Boy Bubby.