On Thursday I took the barmaid over the road to blockbusters where we hired Magic Mike.
MOVIE INFO
Set in the world of male strippers, Magic Mike is directed by Steven Soderbergh and stars Channing Tatum in a story inspired by his real life. The film follows Mike (Tatum) as he takes a young dancer called The Kid (Pettyfer) under his wing and schools him in the fine arts of partying, picking up women, and making easy money.
It was, I confess, my idea, though I still made her go to the counter and rent it for fear of having my sexuality questioned.
Yes I am sad, but also careful, this is a small town and rumours have a habit of sticking around.
The film itself has good performances, McConaughey steals the show here as he plays the flamboyant club owner. The dance routines knock the piss out of the Full Monty and this film owes it no debt.
In the full monty the stripping brings the characters together, in this its the stripping that proves devisive for the central character Channing Tatum.
He cant have functional relationships and struggles to get any career for himself.
Where this film falls down is that I have zero sympathy with any of the characters, as they can all dance, have fantastic pectoral muscles and can fuck any girl they lay eyes on.
Cry me a fucking river Channing.
That said I knew where most of the plot points were going, I found it fairly predictable, but that didn't stop me enjoying watching the cogs in motion.
I do think it was massively over rated by some critics though whom perhaps gave it that extra star to prove how comfortable they are with their sexuality.
Let me say for the record. I'm very comfortable with mine, even if I do need to get the barmaid from over the road to hire it out for me.
Tomato meter - 80% (critics)
Tomato meter - 62% (audience)
Peter meter - 68%
Last night I took my buddy Neil to the cinema to see The Impossible. Unfortunately it wasn't showing so we caught Jack Reacher instead.
MOVIE INFO
Six shots. Five dead. One heartland city thrown into a state of terror. But within hours the cops have it solved: a slam-dunk case. Except for one thing. The accused man says: You got the wrong guy. Then he says: Get Reacher for me. And sure enough, ex-military investigator Jack Reacher is coming. He knows this shooter-a trained military sniper who never should have missed a shot. Reacher is certain something is not right-and soon the slam-dunk case explodes. Now Reacher is teamed with a beautiful young defense lawyer, moving closer to the unseen enemy who is pulling the strings. Reacher knows that no two opponents are created equal. This one has come to the heartland from his own kind of hell. And Reacher knows that the only way to take him down is to match his ruthlessness and cunning-and then beat him shot for shot.
I gave Neil the keys to my flat over Xmas as I went to visit my family. I knew his mother was crazy as shit so I thought I'd do him a favour and offer up my flat as an escape. When I returned to the flat there were several things amiss. The bed wasn't made, the light and heater had been left on, and he had put glass bottles in my black bin. So when last night Neil enquired over text -
NEIL: Was the flat ok?
ME: Heater left on, light left on, bed wasn't made, bag of rubbish kindly left in the kitchen and I had to fish all the bottles from the outside bin. Expected better but thanks for asking.
NEIL: Sorry I didn't know where the glass went and had to rush out. Will you accept a bottle of wine as an apology.
ME: I can't accept the apology based on the poor excuses but I have dispensed with the negative energy so don't worry about it.
OK so cut to 6 hours later in the car enroute to the cinema. I had listened to Neil harp on for the last half hour about how he is such a keen environmentalist that he is undertaking tree climbing in the new year. I cut him off from his point;
ME: Such an environmentalist that you don't know what to do with glass bottles.
NEIL: Well I just thought the bin man would take them.
ME: Neil you are either stupid or a liar. You lived in this town for thirty years, when have you EVER thrown bottles into the black bin?
NEIL: Well I didn't know what bin to put them in.
ME: Then you cannot fucking call yourself an environmentalist then Neil. You can barely call yourself a human being. If you don't know that bottles go to the bottle bank, which is what I had to do with YOUR bottles, then you are either stupid or a liar. Which is it Neil?
NEIL: Ok sorry, I suppose that was a bit of a lame excuse.
ME: Thankyou.
Then after a couple of moments of awkward silence...
NEIL: In Peterborough you can put bottles in green bins and the binman takes them.
ME: You are fucking kidding me? Well thats ok then! I suppose its my fault for not living in Peterborough, or owning a green bin. If only I could have anticipated this scenario silly me.
Anyway the film was pretty good, it's like Columbo with a bit of kick ass.
Tomato meter - 61% (critics)
Tomato meter - 74% (audience)
Peter meter - 73%
Just to finish I caught the Freddie Mercury documentary on the iPlayer yesterday, but I think it's ended now. But it was pretty cool. Freddie Mercury only did a handful of interviews and I found him pretty funny. He was asked 'How do you handle the rest of the band when you are given a song to sing that you don't like?' He replies candidly "Oh I don't, if I don't like it I simply tell them to fuck off." Very funny guy and probably one of the best singers in our lifetime. So if you can, catch THE FREDDIE MERCURY DOCUMENTARY and not MAGIC MIKE or JACK REACHER.
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