End of Watch V Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

First up 

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

MOVIE INFO

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World stars Golden Globe Award winner Steve Carell and Academy Award nominee Keira Knightley and is the feature directorial debut of screenwriter Lorene Scafaria. Set in a too-near future, the movie explores what people will do when humanity's last days are at hand. As the respective journeys of Dodge (Mr. Carell) and Penny (Ms. Knightley) converge, the two spark to each other and their outlooks - if not the world's - brighten. 

I find there is nothing more mercurial than a Steve Carrell film. He can hits the heights of excellence in films such as Little Miss Sunshine and Anchorman, but he can also churn out fantastic turds such as Evan Almighty, or Get Smart. Ikea Knightley attempts to crank up the cooky factor to 11, and although she is not entirely to blame for a sincere lack of chemistry, she has to accept some of the responsibility. I liked the portrayal of everyone living life with complete abandon, but if you want to see that done well then just watch Joaquin Phoenix's performance in The Master. The only thing I took away from this film was a decent soundtrack and a safe knowledge that due to the inevitable outcome, there will be no sequel. 

• ROTTEN TOMATO METER (critics)  55%
• ROTTEN TOMATO METER (audience) 56%
• PETER - METER 39%

This morning I took my buddy Rael to freeport where we sat through End of Watch.

MOVIE INFO

From the writer of Training Day, End of Watch is a riveting action thriller that puts audiences at the center of the chase like never before. Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Peña star as young LA police officers who discover a secret that makes them the target of the country's most dangerous drug cartel.

This, according to William Friedkin is the best cop film ever made. He himself did French Connection so he should know a thing or to. It certainly comes across as being the most realistic but is it really up there with Training Day, The Departed, Tango and Cash? The film flirts with the notion of found footage which adds to the intensity, but it's not entirely reliant on camcorders or CCTV. The way the two are interspersed works very well. Apparently Gyllenhaal took 5 months to prepare for this role by riding shotgun with the LAPD as they went on patrol. And it's paid off. The chemistry between Pena and Gyllenhaal is charming and works better than most buddy cop movies I've seen all year, maybe ever. That's right, even more magic than Turner and Hooch. (Though i cried at that one, not so much at this). Infact I was quite glad to put my crying streak to an end after Skyfall and Frankenweenie had completely broken my infamously fragile tear ducts. I felt increasingly uncomfortable as each event unfolded as I had invested heavily into the characters by the end. Best cop film ever? 

• ROTTEN TOMATO METER (critics) 85%
• ROTTEN TOMATO METER (audience) 90%
• PETER - METER (82%)

Come on Friedkin, it's not Tango and Cash so watch TANGO AND CASH and not END OF WATCH or SEEKING A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD. 

Red Tails v The Master

WATCH THIS NOT THAT...

First up RED TAILS (Available from Blockbusters)

My friend Smithers recommended Red Tails to me. Just to be clear this is the man of whom fell asleep to Inception, walked out of Moon and thinks that 12 Monkeys is up there with one of the worst films I've ever introduced him to. That said he can quote Pulp Fiction until the cows come home, but then who can't.
So I had very low expectations for this movie, even more so once I knew George Lucas had a hand in it. (Executive producer). Quick blurb on the film.

Italy 1944. As the war takes its toll on allied forces in Europe, a squadron of black pilots known as the Tuskegee Airmen are finally given the chance to prove themselves in the sky.. even as they battle discrimination on the ground.

Ok so to take the edge off what was going to be an inevitable slog of corny dialogue mixed with sub-par special effects I got a 4 pack of Crabbies and a bottle of red. 
The first thing I noticed was how terrible the font was on the opening credits. Now I have a thing for fonts, and if for no other reason, you should just check out the first five minutes of this to see what I mean. They are worse than the font on the opening credits of The Expendables. 

The film has a lot of action in, and it certainly chugs along. The fight scenes in the sky were farcical, remember in Top Gun when Maverick says "I'm gunna slam on the breaks and he'll fly right by." Every scene somehow has a little bit of that in. It's like an incredible maneuver has to be undertaken in order to shoot down any Nazi plane. But that said, the fight scenes weren't without merit. There were some good special effects (not the train crash though, by jove, not the train crash). There was an element of suspense and I would be lying if I didn't say that I was invested slightly in some of the characters. 

Cuba Gooding Junior is given nothing to do apart from smoke a pipe and look thoughtful. Terrence Howard turns up (Crash, Iron Man) and I think great, but his scenes are crow barred in for the racial exposition, they're boring as shit but luckily they are few and far between.
The best thing in this film is David Oyelowo (he was the nasty scientist in Rise of the Planet of the Apes that likes to watch people shoot monkeys from helicopters).
He's like maverick from Top Gun, but even more one dimensional. But enjoyable.

I wasn't bored, I got drunk and plodded through it. I suggest you should do the same.

Now onto THE MASTER (Available at selected cinemas)

The blurb:
a 2012 American drama film written, directed, and co-produced by Paul Thomas Anderson and starring Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Amy Adams. It tells the story of Freddie Quell (Phoenix), a World War II veteran struggling to adjust to a post-war society who meets Lancaster Dodd (Hoffman), a leader of a philosophical movement known as "The Cause" who sees something in Quell and accepts him into the movement. Freddie takes a liking to "The Cause" and begins traveling with Dodd along the East Coast to spread the teachings.

I saw it this morning in a cinema on my own. I recommend if anyone in their mid-thirties wishes to see a film at the cinema but can't find a viewing buddy, simply order a cappuccino to look sophisticated, and carry a notebook under your arm so people will get the impression you are a critic of some kind. Ok the Fonts are fantastic, ah only joking. (but really they are!). 

I had very little idea what to expect from this, as the plot is pretty vague. Infact, the only thing I had heard ahead of seeing this film is that there is no plot. It has been accused of being too stylized and very thin on substance. It was quite refreshing actually because the last five or six films I had managed to guess every outcome. (Yes i knew the beginning middle and end to Skyfall, not because I have a crystal ball, but because I have a crystal brain that thinks logically).
What I will say is that it looks incredible, even from the opening scene of the wake of a boat, it is measured, crisp, and filled with beautiful scenery. 
Joaquin Phoenix is ramping everything up to 11 as the boys from Spinal Tap would say. There is an interrogation scene on the boat between Hoffman and Phoenix that is long and intense, perhaps the most intense of the whole film. Paul Thomas Anderson has a habit of long scenes done in one take. Remember in Boogie Nights where William H Macey is pacing around the house looking for his wife, finds her shagging another guy then shoots her, then himself on new years eve? Or in Magnolia as the child prodigy is escorted around the studio before appearing on the gameshow?) Well its longer than those and brilliant. So brilliant that it nearly derails the entire film. 

I'd love to see Joaquin Phoenix get an oscar for this, because you don't get actors throwing in that sort of performance in films that often. Maybe you do in PTA films. Anyway I loved it, but it's the sort of film that Smithers would walk out on without a doubt. I also found it incredibly influential. I wanted to get as drunk as Phoenix does in every scene, but when i emerged from the cinema, it was only 12.30pm. Even I'm not that bad.

Anyway, the ending is slightly nuts, but nothing beats the nutty ending of Magnolia which I recommend every one checks out. So watch MAGNOLIA and not RED TAILS, or THE MASTER. 

Frankenweenie v Margin Call

I had just spent seven hours in the tattoo parlour. A 33 year old adult getting his first tattoo I hear you ask? Is it a mid-life crisis? 

Yes is the correct answer to that. If I could afford a porsche I would be driving around in that instead and the thought that I could only afford a tattoo to symbolize my current status, only made me more depressed. I limped into blockbusters, looking for something to take my mind off the world. 

So I plucked MARGIN CALL from the stand, it had a picture of Demi Moore on the cover. She is not a naturally good looking woman, but she has an incredibly sexy voice. Mixed in with a fantastic jaw, wonderfully androgynous. If thats your kind of thing. 

I got a bag of chips, a meat pie and made my way home.

MARGIN CALL is a film that happens in the space of two days, related in sorts to the imminent crash of the housing market that was to become the beginning of the banking crisis.

A young employee completes a high tech formula that predicts the crisis and all the heads of all the various divisions of the company sit down and chew over the moral complexities of how they can survive the crisis which can only happen by stiffing all their customers and clients in the process. 

Now a few things Zachery Quinto (the young employee) has the most manicured eyebrows I have ever seen on a man. I mean had it not been for the performances of the heavyweights around him (Kevin Spacey, Paul Bettany and the handsome Demi Moore) then I would have been completely taken out of the movie. There is something going on with mens eyebrows these days. 

I have a friend at work whose girlfriend plucks his eyebrows. They look quite ridiculous on a blue collar man and what happened to shaming the metrosexuals? Seriously it's the equivalent of me turning up to a prestigious wine soiree in my high vis jacket and steel toe capped boats, spitting out a swill of the finest sauvignon blanc and saying to the host "Hmmmmm pushy, but yet not assertive." 

My friend did confess that his girlfriend dumped him midweek and my immediate thought was good, maybe you can grow your fucking eyebrows back to normal.

I digress. (But seriously, you won't even know who Zachery Quinto is but take a look at the cover of the DVD and you'll know who I'm talking about).

So its very good MARGIN CALL. I did find it quite convenient that none of the major players knew anything about the technical jargon. For example I counted at least 4 people in the film that said the words "Explain this to me in English." A common trope that allows the exposition to be explained to the audience, most of whom will have no clue what is going on. And even after it's explained in English, it's still pretty convoluted. 

But Jeremy Irons turns up halfway through and reminds you that he is the tits and should be in every film. Paul Bettany I think is doing something strange with his accent I'm not sure. But he delivers a great speech in the car explaining how the bankers aren't entirely to blame, that a greedy society lives in a bubble of deniability. We are all in debt and its all because we believe we deserve the finer things. (Something like that anyway).

I don't want to give to much away, but its an interesting film, the sort of film Wall Street 2 should have been. 

Moving on, this morning I picked up my buddy Rael and we caught the morning show of FRANKENWEENIE at the Braintree Cineworld. It was just us and 3 others in the showing and its quite something. It looks beautiful, there is a wonderful tone to the film and for the second time in a row in the company of men, I wept. The film manipulates emotionally towards the end but you will find yourself unwilling to prevent it. It nods not-so subtly to Burtons previous (and in my opinion, best) monster incarnation, Edward Scissorhands. At times you're almost willing Elfman's Scissorhands score to add that finishing touch. Look out for the cat shitting scene, its genius. 

That said it clearly is no Scissorhands so I recommend you watch EDWARD SCISSORHANDS and not MARGIN CALL or FRANKENWEENIE. 

KILLER JOE v NO WAY OUT

KILLER JOE v NO WAY OUT

Now there is a book out there called 'Never Eat Alone'.
I've heard about it, a road to riches novel about how it's imperative for people to do the simple things socially. I can't bring myself to read it; I like to eat my dinner whilst simultaneously trawling the iTunes website for cool trailers. I am willing to eat in the company of others but they must be willing to eat in silence whilst I complete this process.
I think there should be a book called 'Never Watch a Movie Hungover Alone."
Because I was in a terrible way watching NO WAY OUT last Sunday afternoon.

NO WAY OUT (available on BBC iPlayer now)

Its amazing how I forgot about how the last two minutes completely turns the entire storyline of this film on its head. In this political crime thriller, Kevin Costner is fronting an investigation to winkle out a russian spy, whom we are told is guilty of murdering this Susan chick played by Sean Young. (Remember her? Crikey I heard a terrible story that she was last seen trying to get in Elton Johns star-studded oscar show after party. But she wasn't considered A-list enough so subsequently got told to do one. She then begged fellow attendee's to sneak her in. Oh the humanity).

Also a little Sean Young fact, she was down to play Vicky Vale in the first Elfman Batman. (I refuse to call it Burton's, Nicholson's or Keaton's Batman as Elfman's score is by far the best thing in that film).
But she fell off a horse and broke her arm and in stepped Kim Basinger. Who probably had no trouble getting into Elton's party.

Anyway, Sean Young gets them out in this, right before Gene Hackman gives her a right hook, sending her flying off a balcony to instant death. This is all in the trailer, so no spoilers. Even so, the film is about 20 years old so it shouldn't really matter. So does this all sound familiar? Yes it's pretty much the exact same thing that happens to Gene Hackman in Absolute Power, only we don't have Clint Eastwood having a good old perv through a double sided mirror.

Anyway my favourite thing in this film, apart from the last crazy two minutes, is how creepy and gay Will Patton is. He slimes around the whole film playing a cover up side kick to Gene Hackman. And when he's not brown nosing him, he's shooting guys in wheelchairs. (Hey it's all in the trailer). He should be in every film. Remember how much you liked him in Gone in Sixty Seconds? No? What about as Bruce Willis's buddy in Armageddon? He was the one yelling to Colonel Willy Sharp to give his buddy 'ONE MORE MINUTE!!' (Willy Sharp by the way, best cock based name in any film yet.) Will Patton has got some range.

A few days before I rented KILLER JOE from blockbusters. I waited in line with the empty case. The guy behind the counter clocks me (we are on nodding terms in Tesco's, Barnado's Subway and every other shop we seem to similarly frequent) slips me the DVD and request that I pay for it on my return. It was like that scene in Goodfellas where Ray Liotta's wife gets to go to the front of the queue to pay for her groceries. Only I'm better than her, I don't have to pay at all. Of course I get the stinkeye from everyone else in the shop but I don't care, I've got my film and my Jellybabies and I'm off to the Cyprus Fish Bar for a bag of chips and a battered sausage. My friday routine is sad, isolated, yet thoroughly enjoyable if you happen to be me.

The film was fantastic. It boasts being the most violent film of the year, but that really is only the last ten minutes. I used to avoid Matthew MacConaughey like the fucking clap, EDTV was just beyond shit. But he is so good in this film he even has his own theme tune, that sounds uncannily like Dazed and Confused. Which by the way, he was in! Coincidence? Yeah probably.
But it's a cool looking film by one of my favourite directors William Friedkin. He did The Exorcist of course and if you want to know why everyone looked shit scared in that film it's because he used to walk around the set with a shot gun, every now and then he's slap his actors in the face and then call 'ACTION'. It's true. Go back and watch the scene at the end where one of the Jesuits is crying over the body of a dead priest. Those are real tears.

Especially as there were no decent horror films released for Halloween watch THE EXORCIST, not KILLER JOE, or NO WAY OUT.