There's a new bad-ass dinosaur on the block, one with spikey-ier teeth and can change colour and shit. So the rest of the dinosaurs, Grimlock, Swoop, Slag, Snarl and Sludge all get together for one last mission to defeat....wait...
Remember when Jeff Goldblum went at it talking about Chaos Theory with the late Dickie Attenborough? "your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should". You have crunchy dialogue in Jurassic Park because the screenwriter is also the same dude that wrote the novel, Michael Crichton. As with most interpretations, remakes or reboots, the closer you are to the source material, the more likely it will enhance the outcome. That was the best scene in that movie and I have included a sample of it for you here. You're welcome.
Jurassic World has only a dusting of this sort of dialogue, when the Chinese Scientist explains "Monster is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We’re just used to being the cat." That's the best line in the movie. Aside from that the dialogue is perfunctory. The action is what keeps us guzzling back the popcorn and that doesn't disappoint.
Tomato Meter: 71% (Critics)
Tomato Meter: 81% (Audience)
Peter Meter: 84%
SOUTHPAW (with spoilers)
Jake Gyllenhaal plays an undefeated Junior Middleweight Champion that is forced out of retirement to fight the man that killed his friend in an exhibition. He travels to Russia, grows a beard and cuts up some logs whilst his opponent makes sex noises whilst running up a treadmill....wait
Maybe not the worst film I've seen this year, Terminator 4, Knock Knock were technically terrible and far worse, but this was the most disappointing of the lot. It has no surprises, no decent training montages, I don't believe for a second that Forrest Whitaker knows shit about boxing, and the final knockout punch delivered by Gyllenhaal was super-sloppy.
Gyllenhaal knocks out his opponent and then throws a sloppy punch that connects with nothing as his opponent is falling to the canvas. Anyone that seen Ali knockout Foreman in the famous Rumble in the Jungle back in 74, Foreman is heading to the floor, Ali is standing over him with his right hand cocked, ready to throw it, but never does. As one commentator said, "He didn't want to ruin the aesthetic of this man going down, with a clumsy punch on the way down."I have included the knockout so you can see for yourself.
Tomato Meter: 58% (critics)
Tomato Meter: 83% (audience)
Peter Meter: 47%
VERDICT
Why don't you treat yourself and catch the first Jurassic Park on DVD. Look out for the moment where matey decides the best way to act like you're knocking yourself out, is by hitting the car seat with your hand. Dear oh Dear. So WATCH Jurassic Park and NOT Jurassic World OR Southpaw.
