The other night, I scanned the iPlayer and found a film that had one of my favourite actors of all time in. Roger Moore. So I thought I'd give it a bash.
Roger Moore embarks on a mission to murder a herd of innocent elephants. He then shacks up with some hispanic looking chick and oh god its all over the place.
If I was to pitch an idea to you that Roger Moore and Ian Holm team up and knock the fuck out of some Germans during the first world war, you'd be salivating from every orifice. What can possibly go wrong? Well you can make it over 2 and a half hours long, you can cast Lee Marvin channeling James Coburn instead of casting James Coburn, and you make Ian Holm a mute. This was baggy and the tone shifted all over the place from jovial punch ups to dead babies. I gave up halfway through, sorry Roger.
I just couldn't take any Moore. Fuck you that is a fair to middling gag.
Tomato Meter - 60% (critics)
Tomato Meter - 33% (audience)
Peter Meter - 40%
If I was to pitch an idea to you that Roger Moore and Ian Holm team up and knock the fuck out of some Germans during the first world war, you'd be salivating from every orifice. What can possibly go wrong? Well you can make it over 2 and a half hours long, you can cast Lee Marvin channeling James Coburn instead of casting James Coburn, and you make Ian Holm a mute. This was baggy and the tone shifted all over the place from jovial punch ups to dead babies. I gave up halfway through, sorry Roger.
I just couldn't take any Moore. Fuck you that is a fair to middling gag.
Tomato Meter - 60% (critics)
Tomato Meter - 33% (audience)
Peter Meter - 40%
So last night I took the family to see..
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Plot Summary
Ben Stiller decides to make a cinematic brochure of Greenland, Iceland and the Himalayas. The plot falls down though when the love interest goes onto explain the meaning of Major Tom. No woman on earth would be able to tell you the meaning of a Bowie song. NO WOMAN!
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| Shark surfing. |
Does anyone know if Jim Bowen is alive? That was the hot button topic around the Brooker Christmas table this year. I still haven't bothered to google it. I was so confident that he was alive that I bet £100 with my brother. We didn't shake on it and we were hammered, but still, it would be interesting to know.
Anyway on to the review
It was a real treat for me to take my mum and niece to the cinema, it's an annual experience that is enjoyed every Boxing day. (By the way the 'ann' part of anniversary means annual, as in yearly. So all you kids in relationships that are celebrating your 3 month anniversary, it doesn't exist. There is no such thing because it is not an achievement).
You cannot help but get swept up in the good will in this film. I predicted every turn, not least because I had seen the feature length trailer a dozen times. But just because it was ultimately predictable, didn't make it any less remarkable, and seeing the cogs work so beautifully gave my over active tear ducts a real work out.
Tomato Meter - 47% (critics)
Tomato Meter - 79% (audience)
Peter Meter - 88%
VERDICT
Jim Bowen is still alive. I just googled him, well that's marvelous news isn't it. Especially as I watched old episodes of Bullseye over Christmas on the Challenge channel. He was on fire back in them days Bowen. He had wonderful one liners. When one contestant said his best friend was a Rooster, Bowen came right back with 'So how big is your cock?' He had great improvisational skills I thought. Here is a little clip of him dealing with an almighty googly from one of the contestants. So WATCH Bowen on Bullseye and NOT Shout at the Devil OR The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.
