The Expendables 3
Plot
Gibbo goes nasty in this one. With a slither of Sly, a dusting of Dolph, a shower of Shwarz, a snippet of Snipes and a flicker of Ford.
If you ever want to know how shitty Sylvester Stallone is as a screenwriter you only have to look at The Expendables 2. Van Damme was the antagonist and his name was Villain. His fucking name was Villain and he was a Villain! So when there's no explosions or gunplay going on the film suffers from a lot of crappy dialogue. With the exception of Arnie screaming 'Get to the chopper' and Ford telling Statham to 'Stop mumbling', the script is just astonishingly bad. There's even a moment in this film when Ronda Rousey, the MMA star turned actress, tells Stallone suggestively, 'if you were 30 years younger'. That would still make Sly roughly in his 40's and her in her 20's, so not at all inappropriate but hey, if you're writing the flick, you're entitled to take a flight of fancy. If you're wondering where Brucey is in this flick he got told to do one for demanding $4 million for four days work. Sly called him 'Greedy and lazy' and roped in Ford instead. This film kicks ass by the way and I loved it for its stupidity, it stunts, and Dolph gets in a tank. My only gripe is that the Gibbo-Sly fight scene was all over too quickly. Best of the franchise so far.And whilst I'm here, here's my wish list for the cast of the 4th.
Carl Weathers, Bill Duke, Tom Cruise, Roger Moore, Nic Cage, Matt Damon, and maybe Walken. In fact of course Walken!
Tomato Meter - 34% (critics)
Tomato Meter - 52% (audience)
Peter Meter - 78%
SIN CITY 2 A Dame to Kill For
Plot
Jessica Alba plays a stripper that never gets them out, however Eva Green plays a rich dudes wife and gets them out in every scene. What the hell man?
 |
Do you remember anything from the first one? Neither do I, but I had the feeling I enjoyed it at the time although I have never had any inclination to seek the flick out and watch it again. Didn't hear too many good things about this movie going in, but I had a day off and was passing the picture house so thought I'd catch the afternoon showing. The first ten minutes are amazing, and I haven't seen anything like this since the first Sin City. After that the novelty wears off big time. Of course it looks beautiful, and I'm not just talking about Eva Green whipping them out every five minutes. That novelty will NEVER wear off. But ultimately there is no jeopardy as everybody is very efficient at killing everyone else. There are a couple of storylines going on at the same time but none of them seem to interweave and although this only runs at 1hr and 40 mins, it felt really long and I couldn't wait to get out of there.
Tomato Meter - 45% (critics)
Tomato Meter - 62% (audience)
Peter Meter - 37%
VERDICT
I also caught Tombstone the other day. Again another film that falls short sometimes of crappy dialogue. But the overall feel, the intensity of the acting and the story just blows you away. Everyone knows the Val Kilmer huckleberry sequence but no one talks about the amount of spitting that goes on. It's one of those things that I only like to see in westerns and not in real life or on football pitches. So I looked for a Tombstone spitting compilation but YouTube let me down. However there is one for The Outlaw Josey Wales. So enjoy this and WATCH The Outlaw Josey Wales and NOT The Expendables 3, and certainly NOT Sin City 2.
